Things I learned in my early 20's

My Back Story

Before I met Chris I had been single for 3 years. I had gotten married when I was 18 and then separated at the tender age of 19. I didn't know how to date. I began dating my ex-husband in highschool when I was 16.  I was in a new world and not very tech savvy. I began talking to guys on the internet. I was not a whore by no means but I began seeing a pattern in these "men". I finally figured out what I wanted by the time I was 21. I wanted to be in a HEALTHY and LOVING relationship with a man who treated me with RESPECT, but first I needed to RESPECT myself and LOVE myself. With that I needed to work on myself, instead of talking to random guys on myspace, I deleted them ALL and stopped adding people. By the time January of 2008 rolled around I was beginning to love and respect myself, I was content with being alone and didn't find most guys attractive because of the way they acted. Chris sent me a polite message, I looked at his page and saw that we had tons of friends in common....I went on about my business without replying or deleting the message. I got to work and looked at his page again and finally sent him a message back. We talked all through the month of January only online either through messages on myspace or on yahoo messenger. He never once told me I was "hot" or "sexy" he used the words "beautiful" and "pretty". By the first of February he had asked me for my number, we started off texting and then talking on the phone. Seven short days later I invited Chris over to celebrate my 22nd birthday with pizza and Tim Burton marathon. He came over and that night we watched movies, giggled and talked. We stayed up late because I was getting ready for my mom's wedding. He didn't want to go home and to be honest I didn't want him to leave. He ended up spending the night with me. He laid beside me in my bed FULLY dressed and on top of the covers while I laid under my covers in my pjs. The next morning we said goodbye and I went to Tennessee to my mom's wedding. Ever since that night we have been attached to the hip. If I would not have loved and respected myself I wouldn't have found the man of my dreams. This past September we were married. Now on to what I had originally wanted to write about douchebags and hit & quit it guys.

 If you are talking to a guy you have NEVER MET face to face these are telltale signs he is one of the above...at least in my experience (like I said before I was not a slut it was just things I noticed and immediately steered clear from them)

1.) If he calls you a pet name such as baby, sweetheart, princess, etc. He isn't the one for you.
2.) If he promises you the world and makes a future for you....DO NOT GET SUCKED IN.
3.) If he says you are hot or sexy he is only in it for sex.
4.) If he is very possessive/jealous...its not cute or sweet...LEAVE
5.) If he says he wants to cuddle...he doesn't know you...GET FAR AWAY
6.) If he makes sexual comments...he's a hit it and quit it type of guy..he doesn't know you and that is disrespectful.


Douchebag looks:
1.) Pencil thin beard.
2.) The pictures of himself half naked showing off the "guns".
3.) Ed Hardy/Tapout clothing.
4.)Wearing his hat cocked to the side.

If I think of anymore factors in the douchebag world I will update....if you think I am writing about your life maybe you need to think about your choices. This is all my experience as a single girl in my 20's and I have been itching to write this to hopefully help girls out there that are struggling with loving themselves. There is someone out there for you, you just need to love and respect yourself first. I know that is a cliche thing to say but it is the truth. To quote one of my favorite movies, The Wedding Date, "Every woman has the exact love life she wants." Let that sink in....

Here is a link for 10 signs you are dating a sociopath...it mentions some of the qualities I have mentioned above.